From Montana to a Malaysian diet ;) wink :)))))) giggle :D laugh

My moments of peace. I feel selfish with my time and I horde it jealously. Soon the day will begin for the rest of the world around me and then its go go go. Even in" my time" its hard not to be thinking about what I will cook for dinner, what my daily agenda looks like. Its hard to find your creativity when you do that. But I am not complaining I know how lucky I am, its more that I am trying to carve out a piece of the day to say hello to myself. Its a toss up because of exercise. I need the time to exercise too. Some of that I can do with the kids and family.
I went and visited Pen sang Malaysia on google last night. Very beautiful. Lots of temples and wondrous buildings, it looks very warm and tropical? I did not have much time to check it out but it made me want to know more.  So I thought, you know someone who comes to my site may feel the same way. Whats Montana like to live in? What was it about Jane lims site that inspired me?
Janes site inspired me because of her self discipline. Her passion for bike riding. The shots of the mountains and the city. The obvious effort she puts into her life. I want that in my site. Not that I want to copy her, no quite the opposite, I am inspired by her to put more effort into my own life.Not only do I want that in my site, I want that in my life! So how do I do that. I am familiar with it because I used to have it. That kind of self discipline. I was in unbelievable shape. I was in such good shape that it has taken twenty some years of doing nothing to get out of shape. Sad but true. And in my own defense it was a trade off. I was single and had all the time in the world. Then quite unexpectedly I became a "Mom" to three half grown children. Overnight my life changed. Suddenly I was the one still up folding laundry at 11:00 at night dog tired. Then my mother got Alzheimer's. I started taking care of her full time and raising three kids, looking after my dad. Then I met and married Andy and got pregnant and had twins.All of this was on my plate at one time.I really did not have any help, Andy was gone working for weeks at a time and when he did come home he was beat down so far himself all he could do was rest. I was over whelmed and didn't have five minutes to look up. Slowly things changed, Momma died, the kids grew up and moved away, I still have the twins and Grampa, Andy still works non stop. But things have eased up.I feel like I need to look to myself more now, to take care of myself and to find a niche for me.I know that when my father is gone, I will be lost. So I am trying to build a life of creativity to fall back on.I have a tendency to be a sensitive person and my Husband and his family are not. I could be hurt accidentally by their well meaning insensitivity. Does that make any sense?  It does to me, it does to my father. He has encouraged me the last couple years tremendously. He is my greatest fan. He loves my poetry. I have not written a poem sense my mother died.  I wrote my way through my own hard times. I have always written and I hope I always will.
I could put the journey of the diet down, the journey of trying to get back in shape at fifty.  Just building the house is a challenge I wish I had, had a mentor for. But I think Jane Lim is right, work harder on the exercise. Eat differently. Some of the food on her site looks so good! The spaghetti oh my gosh, but I do not know what it is or how to make it. It almost looks like a curry. I also noticed that she was heavier in 2007 when she first started her journals. It was cool to see that she has changed and she might not even notice herself. We have been trying to guess how old she is. Twenty eight, thirty I have no idea, ha ha she looks good.I think she is a doll. I think I will get going and go for a bike ride, I also think I will start documenting my diet here, maybe!! for now me friends blessings.